Do we have to “burn the boats” to be successful?

Have you ever heard the expression “burn the boats?” The first time I heard it was on September 9th, 2016. I had recently begun to recover from complete burnout and the resulting illnesses in my body. A result fueled by decades of unresolved trauma and believing I always had to be productive. I worked 80 hours a week and volunteered over 1200 hours a year at its height. Still at least two years away from realizing that I was allowed to say no, and day by day burning myself out trying to meet the expectations of my mind, boss, and society. Continue Reading

The history of “Self-Care” the good the bad and the ugly

Everywhere you look today, someone tells us to self-care, that self-care is the answer to our problems, and we should be if we aren’t doing it. If we’ve spoken before, you have likely heard my opinion of the word “should.” I know it is a bit ironic to say this. I feel that the word should, should be removed from our language. Funny right! As a mentor recently said, I believe that “should” is “the most disempowering factitious concept” in our language today. It can be easy to get caught up in the pressure placed on us from all sides to “self-care” or feel that it is a sales gimmick. This expectation that if we only did this or bought, our lives would be better or finally good to me is unethical. The pressure to not self-care to not get caught in its consumerization can be just as profound. Continue Reading

What does it really mean to hold space for yourself

As a parent, there is nothing worse than your child being sick or hurt. We recently went through this challenging experience with our son. The fear in his eyes was heart-wrenching and took every ounce of my ability to hold it together. I felt powerless as the doctors surrounded him. As I watched him face this challenging day, I could do nothing to take his pain away. I couldn’t be the hero mom who swooped in and took it on for him. My role was completely different. I need to just be there and hold his hand, holding space for his experience. Which is when I got it, it would be easy to be there trying to solve or fix it. But that wasn’t what he needed. What he needed was to be loved, and I needed to be at my best to do that. Continue Reading

Eight tips for facing holiday emotions

So often, when planning for the holiday season, we experience emotions and feel stressed. We are worried about family dynamics, planning to navigate holiday parties or fitting in family time in busy holiday schedules. What can help are emotional regulation tips to help reduce stress and bring a calming peace to your holiday season. Continue Reading