What if I told you that you already have everything you need to find true happiness? I bet right about now you are thinking it can’t be true. That this is some gimmick, some self-help cure to all woes. I get it! And it’s still the truth.
Okay, let’s get real for a minute.
When I say you can have true happiness now I mean it, and I know this because I found this to be true for myself and all my clients. When I look back, the funny part to me is that everything I needed I already had available to me. I didn’t need to take a course, read a book, or learn a skill.
I just couldn’t see it! Honestly, when it clicked for me it was one of those Dorothy moments, “you’ve had it all along”. I’m not talking about an overnight solve or a magical cure. It takes trust, practice and will power! At first, I was lost, I fell down a lot, and then I found the power I had all along, and I started to thrive.
As human beings, we live in this cycle. We desire true happiness, so we set about creating it. We desire knowledge, so we set about learning it. Our lives are filled and fueled with desire. Desire has created the world we live in today. Nothing we have in the world didn’t come about through a desire. This isn’t bad, in fact, we have come so far as a society because of desire. And, it is also what prevents true happiness.
Okay, still not convinced… Look back at the last 3 times you accomplished a goal you set out for yourself. How did it make you feel? Was life as good as you thought it would be? Were you happy? Truly happy? If you are being honest didn’t you get right back into setting new goals? This is the cycle! We have destined our lives to be hamsters in a cage running an unending race.
Ending the cycle
So how do you end the cycle you ask? It’s both easy and hard at the same time. Okay, this is going to sound funny. You remember that song “Don’t Stop Believin?” by Journey? Well, I’m sorry to say they are wrong.
First, you stop believing your thoughts. Second, you stop believing that you need something outside to be happy inside.
This is where the will power is needed. Your thoughts will always be your thoughts. What there is to transform is how you hear them. And your desires will always be your desires. What there is to transform is how you attach them to your happiness.
1. OUR THOUGHTS ARE NOT THE TRUTH!
Have you ever heard your thoughts say things like “you’ve got this”, “this will be awesome”, “you’re doing great”? No… because our brains are wired to send signals to protect us. This means it puts up warning signs for us to see. It will tell us what has happened before, and mostly what “could” happen. The trouble is we believe that what is says is true, that it WILL happen. When in fact, it isn’t happening at all.
I recently heard someone describe this as he experienced teaching his daughter how to ride her bike. She was standing over her bike next to him sharing that she was afraid. He asked what she was afraid of and she said “falling off my bike”. He answered, “why are you afraid of something that isn’t happening?” “But I could fall off”. It was all right there. We act as though our thoughts have ALREADY happened!
This is where we withhold true happiness from ourselves. We see thoughts of doubt as truth. Thoughts of fear as something to believe. To truly transform our relationship with happiness, we have to let this go! We have to see our thoughts as simply something a brain says.
2. DESIGNING DESIRES
Let yourself look back and find a time when you wanted something, truly desired it. What did you say to create the goal… likely it was something like this… “If I do (this), I will feel like (that).”
You see we focus on how it will feel in the future when we finally reach our goals. “I’ll be thinner and feel good in my clothes.” “I’ll have more energy and be able to play with my kids.” “I will have more time for the things I want to be doing.” “I’ll have enough money to have the life I want.” “I’ll find success in my job and be happy.” “I will be happy in a great relationship.”
Do you see how we tie our own self worth or happiness to the result? This is how we withhold our own true happiness.
So here is the truth to happiness, we spend our whole lives focused on the outside to create the happiness that happens on the inside. We create the perfect home, the perfect job, the perfect environment to live our lives. And then we still aren’t happy. This is the key to freedom! Nothing outside will change how we feel inside.
Happiness is a choice. It is not contingent on our job, our relationship, our circumstances unless we create it that way. To truly live happiness takes having one belief for yourself. You are whole and complete NOW.
As you transform your life you may experience some fear or self-doubt that is often accompanied by change. We will overcome this together by re-framing negative self-judgment to a supportive and positive self mantra. We will
As your partner, I will guide and inspire you through coaching and mindfulness to achieve a balanced life of mind, body, and spirit. Together we will identify and remove the hurdles, putting you back in the driver seat of living your unique life of wellness.
Together we will:
Embrace your life and let go of destructive behaviors
Transform the thinking that has you stuck
Create a peaceful loving relationship with yourself
Give yourself the gift of love and self-acceptance