I have spent a good deal of my life stuck in a rut. I was the reason I felt that “I’m not enough” feeling.
When faced with the negativity of others, I applied it to myself. I saw and believed without question how others around judged value in themselves and applied it to myself. And the most important is I set unreachable standards and measures for myself and berates and bullied myself when I didn’t reach them. Before long this became my most prominent inner voice.
This voice became the truth for me, it had drowned out any positive thoughts. This led to more negative personal assessments and judgement. Before long I closed off to believing anything else.
What I had forgotten how to do was hold up the mirror of what others saw in me and allow it to be heard and seen. To question self judging thoughts. To leave room that this inner voice could be scared, fearful or just plain wrong.
Freedom comes from something so simple.
When someone praises us, we need to listen with an open heart.
If we feel bad or want to change something about ourselves we need to accept it as a challenge we want to tackle instead of a judgment.
Or when we feel self judgement we need to see it for what it is. Forgive our self. And let it go.
I certainly won’t say I’ve perfected this, but I will say I’ve found a way to believe that I am enough!
It starts with re-framing what we think is”wrong” to acknowledging a positive view point. Instead of “I’m too critical of myself and others” I have re-framed it to “I hold myself and others to a very high standard and I’m working on making those standards attainable, giving space to reach those standards and accepting the time it takes”.
This has given me the freedom to accept my mistakes. Accept that I am not now nor do I ever need to be perfect. And most importantly the forgiveness of my inner judgement and acceptance that I can and will be more self accepting and loving.